I’ve never owned a web-cam, because when I’m at home, truth be told, I enjoy looking like a bit of a hobo, and people just don’t need to be submitted to that. But since ‘ChatRoulette‘ seems to be kind of a big deal, and since I’m not one to let anything pass me by, I stole my sisters cam and had myself a go.
Image from: http://www.internetblog.org.uk/post/1538
For any of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s a bit like a massive and random world wide msn game. Every time you click the “next” button you are put face to face with a different person from somewhere in the world.
The first guy I met was from Turkey. I’ll admit my Turkish has never been brilliant (what with me being Greek and all) but he seemed to understand what I meant when I said “nasilsin” so it seems having a Turkish best friend has paid off.
I met a police-man from Philadelphia (fully kitted out) usually I love a man in uniform, but since he was bordering on overweight I somehow managed to control my primitive urges. Next came the guy from Belgium who ate a banana suggestively at me, but thanks to the “next” button I didn’t have to endure more than about 5 seconds of that.
Either German people don’t go out much, or ChatRoulette is really happening over there, because every other person I spoke to seemed to be a ‘Mann’ or a ‘Frau’.
One guy was even sitting there with a guitar taking song requests (well that’s one way to label yourself an international talent). He sang “Hey There Delilah” to me, and would you believe he wasn’t half bad. Now all he needs is a millionaire music producer to have a gander on ChatRoulette and he’ll be sorted. Likelihood of that happening? Probably about as likely as me showing my ‘tits’ to the 3 guys that asked.
No girls would talk to me. Clearly I wasn’t what they were looking for. Though, if like I suspect, they were on the search for good-looking guys, they would have probably been better off sticking with me. Actually that’s a lie, one girl did speak to me, she was listening to Bruno Mars and I started singing along. It didn’t occur to me till later that it may have seemed like I was serenading her.
Oh I met a Smurf too, and a guy in a red wig, (they were hanging out together). It worries me that this is the best London had to offer. Really it’s a good thing I logged on tonight to give England a good name.
If nothing else I learnt a lot. Like for example at at 18:40 here it is 10:30 in Oregon. Portuguese people are in fact, not all good looking like I had originally believed, people in Albania smoke a lot of weed (they offered me some but I was strictly business) and it turns out people in the Ukraine don’t have much of a sense of humour.
Also, for first time users, have your cursor poised over the ‘next’ button, because there will always be that one guy, somewhere in the world, with his cock out.
Watch This Space 