Feeds:
Posts
Comments

They say you have to kiss a few frogs before you actually meet prince charming, which in non Disney terms roughly translates to “you have to date a few twats before you meet Mr Right”.

For women, this tends to mean that your 20’s are filled with a lot of trial-and-error dating, which consists of one dead end relationship after another, until you finally meet someone who doesn’t make you want to turn to drinking and/or violence.

Until then, there is a whole array of d**kheads which we can work our way through, and let’s be honest, if you say you haven’t dated at least one of the following, you’d probably be lying:

The Fear Of Commitment Dude
fear-of-comittment-scared-men-dating-gif

You know the one. This is the guy you date for a year who still won’t change his relationship status on Facebook, or so much as call you his girlfriend to his mates. He wants the perks of a relationship without the pressure of putting any sort of label on it. He doesn’t feel he has to text you every day, because he’s a “free spirit” and isn’t ready for all that serious stuff.

He will ultimately break up with you, because, despite the fact you’ve never so much as mentioned him meeting your parents, he’s inwardly paranoid that you’ve been organising your wedding since the moment you met.

The Patronizing 30 Year Old Dude
Older-men-serious-patronising-hello-kitty-gif

Eventually, every 20 something girl will make the executive decision to date an older man. She’s worked her way through enough “boys” who don’t know how to treat her right and decided that she needs an older, more mature lover. Someone who can afford to take her on fabulous dates and isn’t afraid of discussing the future.

The trouble with “older” men is that you’re now considered the “immature” one in the relationship. They don’t understand why you need to go clubbing, wear short dresses or get drunk on Apple Sours and before you know it you’re the one deemed not serious enough.

The “I’m Not Ready For A Relationship” But Is Dating Someone Else 2 Weeks Later Dude

millie-made-in-chelsea-slap-gif-angry

There’s always one guy, who wants to “keep it casual” with you because of some half baked excuse or other. He’s just come out of a serious relationship or he’s focusing on his career right now (blah blah).

You date him because you’re fabulous and you’re sure that he’ll change his mind once he gets to know you. But, when true to form you fail to get him to commit you call it a day, usually on fairly good terms because lets face it, the boy already told you that he wasn’t ready for love.

It’s all fine. That is until one month later, you find out that Mr. I’m Not Ready is dating someone else.

The Overly Attached Dude
please-leave-me-alone-gif

Then there are the ones who want you a little bit too much.

I know how this sounds… one minute we’re moaning that men don’t want to settle down and the next minute we’re saying they’re too clingy. These poor fella’s just can’t win.

But any girl who has dated an “overly attached guy” knows exactly what I mean. You’ve been on two dates and he’s talking about the future, tries to introduce you to his mum and texts you every waking moment of the God damn day. He’s constantly telling you he misses you (even though he was with you 30 minutes ago) and despite the fact you don’t even know his surname yet, he’s acting like you are the love of his life.

The Can’t Kiss For S**t Dude
bad-kisser-tongue-face-licking-blonde-date

It has been said that these creatures are the most deceptive of all, because on the outside they look just like me and you. Sexy, smart, clever, confident and witty. FINALLY a guy you can get on board with.

They drop you off at the end of your first date and lean in to make this good date even better.

Of course it’s only after he’s finished prodding your tonsils with his tongue that you work out how on earth this amazing catch is still single. At this point you ask yourself three questions: 1. Can I fix this 2. Is my lip bruised 3. I wonder if I change my number if he’ll get the hint.

The “I’m Not Like Other Guys” Dude
promise-nice-guy

Guys who claim they “aren’t like other guys” are the worst kind of guys. They are the ones who know they are d***heads and make a conscious effort to cover it up.

The Cheapskate Dude
you-get-nothing-cheap-cheapskate-gif

This is the classic “shall we go for a drive” guy. Because driving to McDonald’s for a milkshake and 6 nuggets is a hell of a lot cheaper than taking you to dinner.

If you agree to the drive you should know that date two will then be “do you want to come over for a movie” because why the hell should he pay £40 for cinema tickets and popcorn when he can download the damn thing for free and serve you those fancy chili crisps his mum brought last week.

The “Do You Really Need To Go Out With Your Friends” Dude
boring-fun-stay-home-gif

The controlling guy. He’s always complaining about something or other because he likes to establish his dominance whenever and wherever possible. A dog wee’s on a tree to mark his territory. A controlling man pisses all over your parade to establish his.

Despite his other very wonderful qualities, eventually you know you’re going to ditch him, because frankly, no grown woman likes being told what to do. Except in the bedroom maybe.

Boydens Kitchen Review Barnet

Cinnamon French Toast

Cuisine: British Artisan Cafe

Location: Barnet (Friern Barnet Rd)

Food: ★★★★★
Atmosphere: ★★★★★
Setting: ★★★★☆
Service: ★★★☆☆

Boyden’s Kitchen is the definition of homely and quirky. The mismatched tea cups, board games and knitted dolls for sale all add to the charm of the place, but it’s the food that will keep you going back.

Their breakfast/ brunch style menu has every food lovers essential from cinnamon french toast to pancakes, poached eggs, salmon, porridge and eggs with soldiers. The green tea with mint and rose tea is particularly memorable, as in fact is their Monmouth coffee.

Fresh home made cakes pastries boyden's kitchen

Fresh home-made cakes & pastries

Their selection of home-made cakes and pastries changes on a weekly basis and serve to add to the already fabulous menu.

Boyden's Kitchen Knitted Dolls

Boyden’s Kitchen Knitted Dolls

The itself menu isn’t extensive, but what they lack in variety they make up for in quality; the food is fresh and arrives quickly despite the cafe always being busy. The dishes are every Instagramers dream, as each plate is beautifully prepared so that it looks as good as it tastes and the portions are what every food lover hopes for: hearty and inexpensive.

Fluffy Pancakes

Fluffy Pancakes

The staff were helpful and accommodating with order changes and substitutions and there are newspapers, magazines and free WiFi to keep even the most impatient diner occupied until the food arrives.

The decor is charming and haphazard and is the perfect place to visit on a lazy morning. The only criticism I could give Boyden’s is that you have to go to the counter to pay and they’re only open until 5.30pm.

That being said, the parking is free which adds to the already extensive list of pro’s and tips the scale in favor of making Boyden’s your next must visit place.

Oat and Protein Pancakes

Oat and Protein Pancakes

Cuisine: Protein Based, Healthy Living Cuisine
Location: Gants Hill (Alternate locations also available)

Food: ★★★★★
Atmosphere: ★★★★☆
Setting: ★★★★☆
Service: ★★★★★

Gyms Kitchen is the UK’s first protein based restaurant, which in layman’s terms means they note the protein content and calories content of each dish on the menu. The menu, incidentally is based on a high protein healthy diet, so if it’s a burger and large fries you’re after, you’ve come to the wrong place.

This being said, with bikini season approaching, I find more of us are having to part with our beloved take-away menus and replace the poppadoms with push-ups. So if ever there was a time to seek out an eatery for healthy living, the lead up to summer would be it.

Anyone who has been attempting clean and healthy eating will have discovered one of two things: being healthy is actually quite expensive and finding something diet-appropriate on a menu is harder than one thinks.

Marinated lamb cubes

Marinated lamb cubes

Queue: Gyms Kitchen. Gym go-ers heaven.

The menu is essentially perfect for those who are training or trying to lose weight. But it’s not so much focused on calories as it is health and nutrition. There are a variety of grilled meat’s and vegetables, protein shakes, smoothies and healthy breakfast and brunch alternatives for those looking for something a little lighter.

As a self confessed pancake lover, they were on the top of my must-try list and I’m glad to report that they did not disappoint. Made with egg whites, oats, protein powder and optional blueberries, they hit every spot, without even a glimpse of food-guilt.

The service was impeccable, our waitress was friendly, helpful and even encouraged us to try the large variety of frozen yogurt flavors before ordering the one we wanted. The table was cleaned at least three times during our meal and despite the restaurant being busy, we were never left waiting.

The menu offered a huge variety of foods, to suit all nutritional goals, be that a post gym snack or simply an afternoon lunch with friends that doesn’t break the diet. The food itself is fresh, well marinated and full of flavor; the fact it was healthy is an added bonus and not the main attraction.

Don’t let the name fool you, whilst Gyms Kitchen is a haven for those on a guilt-free food mission, the menu has something for everyone and varies from the simplest dishes (peanut butter on toast) to tuna steaks and king prawns.

In summary: fast, affordable and not shy with their serving’s of peanut butter (which on its own earns them an extra star). Will I be purchasing myself a Gyms Kitchen t-shirt any time soon, no. Will I be visiting again, oh most definitely, every tasty bite was well worth the 30 minute drive it took me to get there.

Marco Pierre White Kings Road Steakhouse Chelsea

House cut steak, triple cooked chips and salad

Cuisine: Steakhouse
Location: Chelsea

Food: ★★★☆☆
Atmosphere: ★★☆☆☆
Setting: ★★★★☆
Service: ★★★★★

With Marco Pierre White’s name above the door, I expected great things (or at the very least great steak). Kings Road Steakhouse & Grill is situated in the chic Chelsea neighborhood and the restaurant promises a classy night out.

The decor can only be descried as clean and plain; it features white walls, white table cloths, white chairs and plenty of mirrors. Individual table lamps and a large chandelier add some modern touches to the otherwise classic surroundings.

Kings Road Steak house

Kings Road Steakhouse Cosmopolitan

Courses came out quickly and the waiters were charming enough; as for the food itself, it was pleasant if not slightly unremarkable. The soup of the day was caramelized onion soup which was creamy and tasty but was lacking any accompanying bread, which would have been a nice if not entirely necessary addition to the starter.

The pièce de résistance, the much awaited steak came with a choice of sauces and for those who like their steaks bloody, I am sure you would have found the cut masterfully cooked. For me, it was underdone, I ordered medium but received a rare steak. This being said, the steak itself was tender, flavorful and juicy.

Sticky Toffee Pudding Marco Pierre White Steakhouse

Sticky Toffee Pudding

The couple on the table next to us also felt their steaks had been under cooked and their medium steak were sent back only half eaten.

At this point I should add that the tables are packed quite closely together and whether you like it or not, a dinner for two becomes a dinner for six (you, and the couples either side of you).

The desert, accompanied by an ice-cold Cosmopolitan slipped down nicely and may well have been the best of the three courses.

The Kings Road Steakhouse offers various online deals to dine in for two which most of the patrons in the restaurant had pre-purchased (as they were eating from the same fixed menu that I was).

Whilst the fixed menu is somewhat limited (and requires you to pay extra for sides and certain cuts of steak) it made an otherwise expensive meal quite reasonable.

Marco Pierre White’s Kings Road Steakhouse & Grill is pleasant enough if it’s a quiet meal you’re after, however as restaurants go I wouldn’t consider this one a core shaker.

The Byron Burger

The Byron Burger

Cuisine: Burger Bar
Location: Various

Food: ★★★★☆
Atmosphere: ★★★★☆
Setting: ★★★☆☆
Service: ★★★★★

My experience at Bryon Burger is the definition of a ‘beautiful accident’. ‘Accident’ because after waiting an hour for a table at another eatery, I sought out a restaurant that would be kind enough to seat three hungry girls on a Friday night, without a reservation.

The restaurant itself is nothing to look at, I can only describe the interior as simple like it’s menu. Byron Burger’s philosophy is “do one thing and do it properly” so if it’s variety you’re after, go elsewhere. If burger’s are your food of choice however, I’d say you’ve come to the right place.

Mac & Cheese and Skinny Fries

Mac & Cheese and Skinny Fries

As a meat enthusiast, when it comes to burgers I border on obsessive. Whilst I’m un-moving on my requirements, they are pretty simple: good quality meat, perfectly seasoned and cooked to perfection (which they were, the burgers at Byron are served medium unless requested otherwise).

The patties are juicy and flavorful, the buns are soft and the mac & cheese was not far off perfect. In fact it’s no wonder that over the last years several new branches have sprung up around town, after all, where the food is good the people will follow.

When it comes to burgers in London, finding a place to eat isn’t hard. Finding a restaurant that will serve you a “proper burger” is another matter altogether, however as long as you’re happy with your gherkin on the side of your burger and not in it… then if you ask me, Byron’s have all the fundamentals right.

The skinny fries were nothing to write home about but the courgette fries and proper olives are on the money. The price is reasonable, the staff were attentive but most importantly, their meat is definitely worth hopping a train into town for.

Mojo's Fruity Pancakes

Mojo’s Fruity Pancakes

Cuisine: Various
Location: Ashfield Parade, Southgate, London

Food: ★★★★☆
Atmosphere: ★★★★★
Setting: ★★★☆☆
Service: ★★★★

Once known as Choccocino’s, the newly opened Mojo’s Kitchen is very much a case of: new owners, new name, new menu.

I can only describe their style of food as “a little bit of everything”. Whatever you fancy, they’ve probably got it; their menu varies from breakfast to burgers, fish cakes and ribs. Whilst the menu sounds a bit messy, for a food lover who appreciates a bit of variety, it makes perfect sense.

Mojo's Breakfast

Mojo’s Breakfast

Whilst Mojo’s menu runs all the way from breakfast to dinner, I would offer them a delicious crown of honor as the perfect place to brunch. There’s nothing overly fancy about Mojo’s, the interior is simple, clean and even has an outdoor area with tables and chairs where you can enjoy a cup of tea in the sunshine (if ever we see any that is).

Their breakfast pancakes are especially good and they seem all too happy to appease fussy customers by substituting a bit of this for a bit of that. Most importantly they’ve got their proportions the right way round – large portions, small price tag.

Not to mention that the end of our meal was greeted with both the bill and a follow on Twitter and let’s face it, it’s always nice to come as customers and leave as friends.

Milk Chocolate Fondant

Milk Chocolate Fondant

Cuisine: Pan Asian
Location: Stables Market, London

Food: ★★★★☆
Atmosphere: ★★★★
Setting: ★★★★★
Service: ★★★★☆

For any female visitors who might be in heels, the journey to the front entrance is a wobbly one at best, as Gilgamesh’s door step is nothing if not heel incompatible. Once having successfully made it over the cobble stones of Stable’s Market however, the red carpeted entrance is the tip of the stylish iceberg.

photo (2)

Lychee Martini’s

Upon taking the escalator up to the first floor, you are met with a carved wooden interior lit with extravagant lighting which promises a trendy night if not a tasty one.

Let’s start, as every good meal should, with the drinks. If it’s cocktails and champagne you’re after, this is the place for you. Apple and fig martinis, lychee martinis and a whole array of fruit based drinks I wouldn’t be able to pronounce but was more than happy to try. Don’t expect to find a pint of beer on the menu, but anything else your heart desires they do and they do rather well.

The service throughout the night was good, there was an initial mix up with our table however they resolved it in a matter of minutes and had us seated and drinking our first round of cocktails in almost no time.

The menu itself is influenced by South East Asia, Japan and China. It has plenty of variety, from Dim Sum to Sushi and Thai and Malaysian curries. The duck and watermelon salad is an absolute must try; despite watermelon not currently being in season it was fresh, tasty and the combination of flavors and textures worked well together.

To start, alongside the salad and our cocktails we ordered Black Cod and Prawn Dumplings alongside Chicken Goyza which came out of the kitchen fast and hot. The highlight of the meal however was the dessert: Milk Chocolate Fondant, Praline and Vanilla Ice Cream.

The food was presented well and whilst it wasn’t exactly cheap, it was no more expensive than I’d expect of any swanky London based restaurant.

If you’re the kind of person who usually enjoys some post dinner fun without having to traipse from venue to venue, Gilgamesh is the perfect place to visit on a Friday or Saturday night as dinner guests are offered a wrist band which allows free admission into the club upstairs. Known as being a bit of a celebrity hot spot, we did in fact spot a member of the Arsenal football team who was happy to take pictures with us. 

Between the restaurant, lounge bar and upstairs club, Gilgamesh was definitely the recipe for a fun night, just make sure you remember to bring your card with you, as you will probably find yourself in need to a cash point trip mid way through the night.